On
another occasion, I was riding a metro train (BART) from San Francisco to
Oakland, and there was a Spanish-speaking immigrant couple standing over me
conversing. With times changing, as alluded to by the female
bus driver, I normally do not give up my seat unless it is for an elderly or
disabled person (male or female). However, seizing an opportunity to practice
my Spanish, I offered the women my seat. She smiled, seemingly pleasantly
surprised to meet a gentleman in the United States of America, and responded
with gracias, muy amable (thank you, you are so kind).
As I go
about my Latin American vacations trying to fit in as much as gringo-ly possible, I’ve literally asked
the friends that I made in those countries about proper etiquette. Of the many
things they shared was that a gentleman absolutely gives up his seat for a lady
on public transportation; a gentleman permits a lady to go first, such as boarding a bus, and the ladies
expect it.
One
hectic evening in a Quito, Ecuador bus station, I was waiting in line to buy a
bus ticket back to Lima, Perú. Being next in line, I stepped forward as soon as a
window became vacant. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a woman swooped
past me towards the vacant window. Irritated, I snapped, con permiso señora, pero estaba aquí primero
(excuse me, ma’am, but I was here first)! The ticket clerk looked at me as if I
was from another planet, not to mention another country. To get even, she gave
me, what I found out later to be, inaccurate information. I shared this
incident with an Ecuadorian lady-friend hoping to learn a little more about cultural
sensitivity, and was told that it is an Ecuadorian federal law that pregnant
women, seniors (male and female), and the disabled (male or female) get to go
the head of the line. The woman I confronted was neither pregnant, a senior,
nor disabled, thus, I’m still up-in-the-air about as to where I went wrong in my assertiveness.
When I
land on Latin American soil, I find it necessary to change my paradigm when
relating to women. In Latin-America, as in other parts of the world, the
women’s movement have not come close to the advances made here in the US. Women
in these countries generally hold positions where the disparity between male and female
pay is far greater than that in the US. And the old-school customs that were
practiced when I was a child growing up are still common place in Latin American
countries. However, as I continue to explore Latin American cultures while
improving my Spanish, I will need to keep abreast of
their women’s movement because it is active and slowly gaining momentum.
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