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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Travel & Marriage to a Foreigner?

Today, I got into an online chat with a dear female friend I met in Perú over a year ago. As a dear friend, I truly love her. In this particular conversation, she, to my surprise, popped the question; marry her so she can come to the USA. I explained to her that when I marry, it will be for love and nothing less.

As a single guy, I've been approached by women from nine different countries about marriage. Most were up front about their motive and even offered me several thousand dollars. María, the Peruvian-American owner of a café that I frequent in the mornings, asked if I will be looking for someone special when I return to Perú. My mind went back to my trip to Cuba where I met Luisa who immediately begged me to take her back home to the USA. It was evident through her behavior that true love was not in the equation, especially when I suggested that I stay in Cuba to be with her. That shut her up! I had only two reasons for being in Cuba in the first place----language and cultural immersion and the development of my salsa dancing skills. Making lifetime “friendships” was a big plus, but marriage? I don't “think” so!

It was evident through her behavior that true love was not in the equation, especially when I suggested that I stay in Cuba to be with her. That shut her up!

My fourth and most recent trip to Perú was no different from my trip to Cuba, or any other country that I've visited; it was strictly for language and cultural immersion. Making lifetime “friendships“ was a plus.

Fortunately, I have several family-like connections in Perú. People whom I love and respect as members of the African diaspora. I especially look forward to seeing Daniela, my goddaughter and her family to whom I frequently call and send money. When I'm in Perú, we have a great time playing games, going to parks, the beach, children play centers, to dinners, and eating ice cream.

There are too many cases of men and women marrying someone from a different country only to burned when their spouses acquire permanent resident status.


But marriage? Ummm, I don't “think” so! At least not to someone who doesn't legally reside in the USA. There are too many cases of men and women marrying someone from a different country only to be burned when their spouses acquire permanent resident status. María, who herself knows of such cases, told me that I shouldn't blame them for they are only looking for a better life. Although, I can understand looking for a better life, but feigning love and breaking the hearts of those who who truly love them is not the answer; in fact, it's corruption. If I meet and marry a woman, she will either be a citizen of the United States of America, or at least, a permanent resident alien already.

12 comments:

  1. Yeah. Once again, I feel you, Bill. As a single female who often travels other countries alone, dating can be . . . interesting. I find that the men aren't as straight forward as the women that you have encountered. There seems to be more wooing involved, but the goal seems to be the same -- take me home with you. However, to quote you, "I don't think so!"

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  2. You never know you could find your wife on this trip and she may want you to come there and live with her!

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  3. I feel u Bill, the best thing is to marry them, keep them in their native home, start a business over there, let her run it, while u travel back & forth to the states doing business.
    We call it the 3yr mark, usually after 3yrs of being here in the states, that's when they change. It even happened to me. I was forwarned and all but I ananlyzed my situation and did the count,and it was exactly 3yrs that things went down hill for me.

    Letting her come for a visit is the best way, that way she's seen America and its now time go go back home.

    Since then, i've grown wiser, now i'm blessed with a beautiful Ghanian woman who happily resides in Ghana wow managing our transportation business among other things.

    Jawanza
    aka
    Poppa~Africa

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  4. LOL. Ms Beauty, that'l work! :-)

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  5. Juwanza, you've been tell me that for years. Keep them in their home country. LOL. I'm glad your relationship with the Ghanian is working out.

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  6. Great litmus test for determining true love!

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  7. Bill I am with you. Marry them and keep them there, if you bring her to the USA and the green card 3 year limit is up, thats when you see the true picture. Keep them there and dare not bring them to America, most of them have many motives and thats to get the card, dump you and bring over the real love of their life. Good luck..

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  8. I'm a female but I can definitely cosign on this one...such was my experience with Egyptian, Somalian, Sudanese, Comorian and Spanish men. At least some of these females were up front. I'm more accustomed to pushy men who pretend to be truly hurt to find they wont be on your plane home.

    I've had taxi drivers talk to me like they were crazy... assuming I was an illegal immigrant...they always change that tune once they figure out where you are from. smh.

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  9. Alexandria, speaking of taxi drivers...when I was in Ecuador, taxis didn't want to pick me up because I was presumed to be a thug; a stereotype of Afro-Ecuadorian males. I waved some bills and he couldn't resist taking a chance on me. LOL. When he realized I was an African-American traveler, he changed his tune. Hmmmmm!
    --------------------------------
    Racism: Latin American Style
    http://ahorasecreto.blogspot.com/2010/05/racism-latin-american-style.html

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  10. Bill I think you are absolutely right. I plan to move to Panama. If and when I decide to jump the broom, it will be to live in Panama. Even then, one must be careful!

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  11. I don't know how I feel about this. I am engaged to a Nigerian and people CONSTANTLY say that he wants me from citizen. But he lives in Europe, and could have married a European woman a long time ago. I personally think it depends on the person. Some people really want to find true love. If you have a bad feeling about it, then definitely don't pursue that person, but don't single someone out just because they are not American. As travelers, I would have thought people would be open to many different people and cultures.

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  12. Nicole,
    I am hoping and wishing the best for you and your fiancé.

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