Wednesday, October 4, 2017

I Seem Attractive to White and Mestiza Latinas

 As many of you know that with my explorations, research, and travels through Latin America, I try, as much as possible, to engage their black communities and be exposed to and immersed in black culture, which includes going out with black women. 

One thing I find baffling is that all the while I am admiring the “sistahs,” the white and mestizo women are admiring “me.” For example, while boarding planes in Mexico City and Panamá City (Panamá), wow; hot, sexy-looking women gave me such piercing eye-contact that I thought they were going to burn holes through me. At a popular night spot in the Lima, Perú, one of the female dancers (mestiza), came off the stage, bypassed several tables over to mine, and grabbed me by the wrist to dance with her and on stage.

I am often reminded that the reason the non-black women give me such attention is because of the black male sexual stereotypes. However, one of my blog readers, a black Panamanian women whom I will call “Katia,” gave me a more interesting take on the matter:
Black women, it seems, are more cautious because of personal experience and other issues that has been passed down for generations. There are wounds and scars that are being addressed and not being addressed, and wariness of men is one of them. From my own experience and observations of other women who have been hurt, we are guarded and observant.
Please do not take this personally because for every woman that does not admire or notice you, there are others who do.  The women who have been taught to focus on color are very superficial, and would not be good for any man. For every woman that does not admire you, there are 20 who do. They may not be as blatant about it as those who are obviously letting you know that they see you.
And because you are noticing those who are admiring you, you may be missing those who are inconspicuously noticing you in a more significant way. They are also watching your reactions to those very same women who appear to be admiring you.

Another Panamanian whom I will call  “Luisa” gave me an even more interesting perspective:

in my perspective also as a Afro Panamanian female. Is that African women on a hole no matter where we maybe be from, are subtle in our approach to men not necessarily because of negative experiences but because throughout history the cultural belief that a true lady never acts out aggressively.
In Panama specifically, most black females when encountered with a male that she may find to be attractive she may not ever directly stare at him you may notice that she creats eye contact only to then lower her eyes with a slightly smile, but she will never stare directly at you. 
She may glance at you but will not stare; ever. I have to say that I have noticed a more direct approach to men by African American, Dominican and Colombian women. I am not saying that this is a bad thing I am just pointing out characteristics in social behaviors.
Being a black woman or Latina is not a determinant in how she may approach or react. I would say that a more important influence would be the social behavior of the environment she was raised in. The black experience in Latin America was different to the experience in the USA. African-American women do have a very different demeanor and this also goes for women from the English West Indies. 
Don't get me wrong! Just because I tend to look at black women due to social conditioning growing up in the hood does not mean that I am not open to having a non-black woman in my life. What counts in the long run is how well we can get along, communicate, and understand one another. I have seen this simple formula work in relationships regardless of the color of the people involved.

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